Chapter 19: Baby M

And then, Mark took out his John Journal, looking at what Luke had written:
The human eye is a gelatinous jewel, wet and dripping salt-- cat claws are plastic, cloudy razors
Cars can be sleek and shiny! (or rusty, boxy, clanky and grindy)
Parents are ruining/have ruined our kidz!
don't watch the news

Be quiet and don't attract attention to yourself in public. if you can help it, don't make eye contact with strangers unless it is absolutely necessary or in a business setting.

Remember, you are the main character, the consumer.

all those other people you see?
they're just extras in your movie
pay no attention to them.
because the geese flying over the lake have no intention to cast their reflection, and the water has no mind to retain their image.

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WOODEN WALLS separate Amber's apartment from Gary's apartment. they live in a MODERN APARTMENT BUILDING STRUCTURE.
Amber is secretly in love with Gary, and Gary is secretly in love with Amber. They think the world of each other.
Walls!
Gary is too shy to talk to her because a girl that beautiful is bound to have a boyfriend, he thinks. Besides, he doesn't have very nice pectorals.
Amber is afraid that Gary will think she is "too foward" if she talks to him, and he always seems so busy. She doesn't want to bother him.
To live so close together, they both will die alone. And the sun sets best in the West, and the green grass grows all around
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The world is makes much less sense than you thought it does.
It realizes itself each nude ay.
Dried up leaves, ketchup.

melted crayons, sidewalk chalk, bloody tissue paper wads.

a pizza dumpster, cloudy green grape
UV protection in your shades, aloe vera lotion in your toothpaste

buy all natural food, even though chemicals taste better!

don't eat candy
don't watch movies

do what i tell you to do!
don't buy the hype

put faith in reputable sources!
check your sources!

don't believe reputable sources, they're all hype.
buy local! don't believe the sources!

put your faith in chemicals, hype the locals.
dead uncles, dead uncles, dead cats
rotting flesh and Barbie dolls and mozzarella cheese

the fleshy part

Spiro Agnew is the guy
It's raining toasters and hair dryers, with or without cords

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loud man in business suit looks at television camera
speaks about

LOUD THINGS very quickly! right after these messages!

DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL OR MY KIDS WILL GET FED TO A CAMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
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COMMON SENSE:

don't sniff markers in the bathtub
don't glue your ass to the ceiling
don't try to run across the freeway during rush hour
make sure you're ok with all the chemical reactions taking place in your stomach, lungs and ovaries. you could die!
at your age, you should be stocking shelves! putting things on top of other things!

WATERMELONS ARE HEAVY. THIS IS WHY I HATE THEM. THEY HAVE RINDS, AND I HATE THAT ABOUT THEM TOO. THE SEEDS ARE SO BOTHERSOME! I HAVE TO EAT THE WATERMELON CAUTIOUSLY SO AS TO NOT BECOME CHOKED BY THE SEEDS! THIS IS NO WAY TO ENJOY A WATERMELON!

Some people make spitting watermelon seeds a fun game instead of a paranoid chore. You can do the same with your watermelon. Simply play a fun game! Don't eat the rind because it will give you a stomachache!

The rind of the watermelon is durable enough to be the "outside" part of the watermelon. It is the part closest to everything else (in the entire world)!

I don't eat watermelon rinds, and you shouldn't either. They are like raincoats or hockey uniforms for watermelons. You shouldn't eat raincoats or hockey uniforms, either! Your parents lie to you!!!

WATERMELONS ARE TOO HEAVY! DO NOT TRY TO CARRY A WATERMELON BECAUSE YOU CANNOT!!!! IT IS MUCH TOO HEAVY AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT. YOU MAY BE ABLE TO CARRY A WATERMELON FOR A SHORT DISTANCE, BUT EVEN THE STRONGEST ATHLETES FROM THE OLYMPICS® NEED TO REST ONCE IN A WHILE. YOU WILL DROP YOUR WATERMELON SOMEWHERE, NOT EVEN TWELVE PEOPLE WITH HUGE STRONG ARMS AND A LOT OF FREE TIME ARE ABLE TO BUDGE A FULL GROWN WATERMELON!!!!!!!!!

That's because watermelons are full to the fuck with water! Why the fuck do you think they're called watermelons? Yeah, you fucking jerk!!!!
If you don't mind genetically "enhanced" watermelons you can get seedless watermelons with shriveled up nasty mutant watermelon flesh. It's really boring! Don't get that kind!

WATERMELONS ARE SMELLY AND ATTRACT FLIES AND GO ROTTEN AND EGGS. YUCK THAT IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING UGH. GROSS & SICK! TOTALLY BOGUS!!!!!!!

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watermelons are sweet and tasty fun, but they only last until a certain time. every watermelon dies sooner or later. it does not matter if the watermelon is consumed by bacteria or humans (run by living bacteria).

WATERMELONS ARE NOT GOOD FOR RADIOS BECAUSE YOU WILL GET THE CONTROLS ALL STICKY SO HAVE A FRIEND OPERATE THE RADIO FOR YOU WHILE YOU EAT WATERMELON ON THE OPPOSITE END OF THE ROOM PLEASE. WATERMELONS ARE BEST FOR MUSIC THAT HAS A GOOD SENSE OF COLOUR.

BE SURE TO CONTRADICT YOURSELF ON A REGULAR BASIS. ALSO, BEAT UP COPS FOR QUARTERS AND ESCAPE USING PUBLIC TRANPORTATION. WATERMELONS ARE NOT A GOOD ITEM TO HAVE WHILE COMMITTING A FELONY, BECAUSE THE WEIGHT OF WATERMELON IS SO GREAT AS TO DISTRACT A CRIMINAL FROM HIS CRAFT.

METAPHORS FOR REALITY®

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allrightsreserved

After all that he roat:

4) The giant ball of happenstance that shifts around in front of your face is a living intelligent being made of shapes, colors, sounds, events, thoughts, words, ideas and emotions. It is the area surrounding a physical being which is experiencing this field of MIND.

5) The universe is a dream that nothing is having. Nothing is an illusion, a reflection in a pond. This illusion is reflected and refracted light throughout space. Eventually everything is detailed enough to be either "light or dark, yes or no, on or off" and now the influence of the gods has extended into the lowest world of matter. This plane is taking the form of spiritual beings as human beings, and a reflection is being made of the last scraps of this dream-illusion.

How you feel about anything is entirely your responsibility. Your reactions are you "being things."

and talking is silly